Time, flowing like a river

The best kind of Sunday.

Lazy. Sleepy. Reading. Surfing. No contacts and pj pants. Natural curls in a bun. 

Still feeling... not anxious, restless. 

Ready for the next chapter but scared. Not ready. Wanting. Waiting. Why waiting I don't know, because no one is going to come knocking at my front door.

Currently reading the last story in Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King. It made me catch my breath. I know how she felt when she stumbled across that hidden box. It made feelings best forgotten come to the surface. But only for a little while, thankfully.

Monday

Ugh. Monday. I do love my job in general, but hate Mondays. They are so incredibly stressful. And I, of the limitless patience, am losing patience with the patients! They can be so annoying!!! And the messages, and that damn phone, and the consults...oh. On any given day they can all be taken in stride, but on a Monday. No.

Okay, I feel better. About that anyway.
I beat myself up daily about this last decision I allowed to be made. What was I thinking. Well, what's done is done. I have to live with what I allowed to happen and will just take things one day at a time. I think perhaps a monthly visit to the therapist is in order.

Starting week two of the weight loss trek. I'm feeling okay still. Not deprived. Much. Tomorrow I weigh. Really need to get out walking, though.

Tommyknockers is on TV. In my opinion they really screwed that one up. I just hope they don't make Lisey's Story into a movie, too because there is no way to do it justice.

Hooray for the weekend! It has been a rough week in different aspects.

Work was tough this week on a few accounts not the least of which are some rude and obnoxious patients. Really, people.
I also seem to have no guts and so went along quietly with a major decision I really didn't want to and now feel stuck. But at this point I am looking at it this way- I put up with a lot, and I mean a lot of @$*& over the years, and this is my reward. If I make it that long. I wish I could be like other people and not care about hurting others so much. Yes, I really do.

Today was the second day in a row that I saw a Red Tailed hawk on my way home from work. That is a blessing to me. What a beautiful creature.

maybe?

I'm playing on the computer but listening to the tv in the other room. Psychic Kids is on A&E...one is an empath. I think I am one of those, but have never developed it...hmmm.

Ok, so went to look up psychic empath on Wikipedia. Nothing. But psychic vampire... yes.



A friend sent me quote from Proverbia.net she thought I might like:

Life becomes real only when we begin to face and solve our own problems.
Until then we only swim in circles in a large fantasy world which tends to make us very tired of living.
Don't waste energy! Face life now!
Unknown Source

So, I guess I'll be staying for a few months at least. Because I am weak. But at least everyone else will be happy. What else is new.

moments

Too much that can't be said. Nothing much that can.
The weekend weather was perfect.
Jeff and Carrie came by last night and we played cards and talked till nearly 2 am. It was a good night.
I do love to watch the bats fly at dusk. One little, one big. It relaxes me.
I am so very glad that some happy hats no longer fit. They never should have in the first place. The ones that are knitted now are a gazillion times better. My heart...

Spookie does not like the firecrackers, lol. He shot out of the window like he was shot!
My nerves are just about shot. I'm sure you knew the feeling. Under you skin it just seems to hum all the time...
Tomorrow is the big picnic. Let's all put our happy hats on and give an Emmy worthy performance.
It will be fun none the less. I can forget some crap and enjoy my family for a bit.
What to do, what to do.